STRESS: How To Find Your Way Back To RESILIENCY
I sit in my office, alternating between my X-ray vision glasses and my Sherlock Holmes’ cap and pipe. I’ve spent 20 years peering into people’s histories to find one or two clues of what will bring them back to perfect health. On a really good day, we resolve the top few layers. The patient is grateful that they are back to the way they felt before the crisis. But how do we find our RADIANT, PEACEFUL, HAPPY, RELAXED selves? Pain-free, sleeping soundly, waking refreshed, having fantastic bowel movements and enough energy to bound through life from sun-up to sun-down?
It took a pandemic for me to finally see… The tap root cause and numero uno culprit of disease, aside from toxins, heavy metals, and genetics, is almost always stress. It is often invisible, especially if you’ve been trained to always show up smiling, to make light of your struggles, and not be a burden. When I inquire, patients often report, ”I really don’t have much stress right now.” Then I dig into my research because I’m doubtful that if a patient is in my office, there isn’t some layer of stress driving a complaint. Almost always, we discover something important.
When I ask patients if they have had any significant trauma in their lives, they often say no. We have an idea about what “trauma” is. The fact is, trauma comes in many shapes and sizes. Consider someone who grew up in a loving home but their parents were unavailable. They were left with childcare where their needs weren’t met. Or maybe their parents didn’t know how to deal with emotions. Maybe a parent spent time in the hospital or were focused on processing their own trauma. Attachment issues that show up in the body as trauma can affect overall mental, emotional and physical health.
Here’s the tricky part. Trauma that is keeping a patient’s body in a chronic state of stress may have happened 50 years ago. Years later, that trauma has become so much a part of their everyday experience that they don’t even notice. The body and mind are wired to keep us safe and surviving. These old hurts and stresses get stored in the muscles and tissues. The conscious mind doesn’t connect the back pain or stomach issues, headaches, high blood pressure or any other disorder with the past trauma. How do I know this? Because for years I have gone on journeys with patients who are ready and curious to solve their health mystery. I have witnessed what happens when they ask their bodies to reveal what is causing their current symptoms.
Chronic tension from underlying stress and trauma stimulates the adrenal glands, either subtly or obviously, to flood the body with epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. The strategies of fight, flight or freeze stay activated when there is no imminent danger and the action of the ventral vagus nerve is impaired. The vagus nerve begins in the brain and has branches that enervate the throat, vocal cords, esophagus, windpipe, bronchi, lungs, heart, stomach, pancreas and liver. When we have what’s called low vagal tone, we have lower resilience to stress and weaker function in all of these organs listed.
You can imagine what could happen to the body over time if stress is allowed to run rampant. Headaches, migraines, body pain, inflammation, constipation, diarrhea, poor circulation, blood sugar dysregulation, fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, depression, bloating, diarrhea, reflux, poor absorption of nutrients, weak immune system, autoimmunity, decreased ability to clear toxins, heart issues, leaky gut, food sensitivities and on and on.
The good news is that there is much we can do about it. There are many ways to decrease stress and strengthen resilience. Let’s make a list!
Journal. Talk to a therapist or a friend who can be really present without trying to fix things. Talk about the things that feel challenging in your life to get it off your chest in a productive way.
Gratitude. Spend at least a few minutes every day listing the things that you feel grateful for. I like to do this with a friend or partner before bedtime. Or text three things you feel grateful for to a friend.
Spend time in nature. Focus on really taking in the beauty around you. Feel the earth under your feet (barefoot is the absolute best!). Feel the breeze and the sun on your skin. Take in the scents of the plants and the sounds of the animals around you.
Sing or chant loudly. This stimulates the vagus nerve. You have my full permission for shower arias!
Intentionally disengage from the thinking mind. Look and listen to the world around you with gentle curiosity. Notice what is beautiful and pleasing. This deactivates the dorsal vagus nerve (which is part of the “freeze” system). Let your eyes gently wander until they rest on something that draws them. When you are finished looking, notice the sensation of your eyes and head moving as you find the next thing that draws you. (Do this anytime you are feeling stressed to bring greater calm).
Cold water plunges. These stimulate the ventral vagus nerve. Rivers, lakes and oceans are the best but ending your hot shower with a nice, long blast of cold water works well also.
Exercise is essential. Daily for 30 minutes or at least 5 days a week for getting your heart rate up. Dancing is a wonderful way to reduce stress. Put on some music and dance for five to 60 minutes.
Deep breathing. Slow, deep diaphragm breaths stimulate the vagus nerve and calm the whole system.
Good sleep. Catch the angel train between 9-11 pm and sleep for at least eight hours.
Wonderful herbs! There are many herbs available that support the nervous system, bring the body back into balance and recover your resilience. Ask your naturopath to help you find the right herbs for you.
Meditation. Although this is the last entry, it is one of the most important. Mindfulness meditation has hundreds of studies proving the benefits on emotional, mental and physical bodies. Start with five minutes a day and work up to whatever time you find brings you the greatest benefit. (There are so many teachers, you can find a dozen if you type it in your search engine).
Add your own. What works for you?
If you find yourself saying that you don’t have time, that there is too much else that needs to be done, I would invite you to explore the “NO Exercise”. You may be a person who has grown skewed boundaries, in the name of survival.
The “NO” Exercise
Find a place where you can be alone. The car works if you don’t have space at home.
Start by saying “NO” out loud. Repeat it in different ways and intensities. Try shaking your head back and forth as you speak your NOs.
Do this for at least five minutes.
Allow yourself to see the things that you are doing that you really want to say NO to and say it out loud in the safety of your own home or car.
Repeat this exercise daily for a few weeks. Treat it like an experiment and see what happens. (Feel free to share your discoveries with me!)
Doing this exercise does not necessarily mean that you will make different choices, but it often strengthens and relaxes something inside. You may notice that it becomes easier to take space for yourself.
Yours in ease,
Dr. Ajana Miki