The Shadow Side of Giving: Healing the Root Cause of Overgiving
“You cannot really ever help someone if you are hurting yourself in the process.”
In this article:
What is shadow-giving?
How can overgiving impact my health?
Why is breast cancer often linked to unresolved emotional issues?
How can I practice balanced and empowered giving?
What are the 5 steps to prevent the cycle of overgiving?
How does Energy Alchemy and Quantum Biofeedback help with chronic illness or emotional imbalance?
“I am done.”
My client let out a big sigh of finality as her hands dropped loosely to her sides.
Ann was seeking Energy Alchemy sessions with me to uncover the root emotional and energetic causes of her chronic health condition. Her illness had made her so sensitive to her surrounding environment that even a slight exposure to a contaminant triggered uncontrollable seizures. While she had been making progress, a recent attack left her discouraged and confused. I knew this was the perfect opening to dig deeper into the energetic root cause of her illness.
“What were you doing before the seizure occurred?” I asked.
Surprised, Ann paused and replied, “I was looking for documents for my husband.”
“Did he ask you to help?”
“No, he just started yelling about it, so I went looking for the papers to make him stop yelling.”
Bingo.
Ann was helping her husband get out of a mess he had recklessly created, even though she disagreed with his choices. While she stayed silent, her body told the truth. The internal conflict became physical resistance—and that resistance erupted into another seizure.
The Hidden Pattern of Overgiving
In recent weeks, I’ve noticed similar stories emerge from my clients. Whether it’s a demanding spouse, a narcissistic mother, or a needy friend, many of them feel caught in the cycle of constantly giving—without end, without recognition, and without balance.
This is what I call the shadow side of giving.
In the Shadow of The Giving Tree
If you’ve ever read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, you know the story well. The tree gives everything—her fruit, her branches, even her trunk—until nothing remains but a stump for the boy turned old man to sit upon.
On the surface, it’s a moving picture of unconditional love. But underneath lies a cautionary tale of imbalanced self-sacrifice. The cost of giving everything without receiving nourishment in return can be devastating—not just emotionally, but mentally, spiritually, and physically.
The Link Between Shadow-Giving and Breast Cancer
My maternal grandmother spent much of her adult life ill, often depending on my mother for care. As an only child, my mother became parentified—emotionally, physically, and energetically burdened with the role of caregiver. Years of resentment and exhaustion followed her. Eventually, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The breasts symbolize nurturing, giving, and nourishment. When a woman chronically overgives while neglecting her own emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health, an energetic disturbance can manifest in the body.
As I shared in my article, Are Hidden Emotions Making You Sick?, when unresolved energy disturbances are left unaddressed, they can eventually manifest as illness—including breast cancer.
In fact, most clients I’ve supported who were diagnosed with breast cancer carried unresolved mother wounds—traumas, unspoken resentments, or unmet needs. This theme is far more common than most realize, and experts are predicting breast cancer will remain the most common cancer diagnosis in 2025.
Learning to Give in a Balanced Way
The antidote to overgiving isn’t to stop contributing or to close your heart. Doing so would go against our inherently giving nature. Instead, it’s learning how to engage in balanced exchanges—where both giving and receiving are clear, empowered, and mutually beneficial.
A balanced exchange requires:
Agreement from both sides.
A sense of clarity and respect.
Empowerment for both giver and receiver.
5 Ways to Balance Your Giving
Set healthy boundaries. Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re clear agreements that protect energy on both sides. Here’s a helpful check-list.
Let others learn their lessons. When you solve someone’s problems without being asked, you strip them of the chance to grow in their own power. Guide, don’t rescue.
Discern before you give. Ask yourself: Does this feel empowering or disempowering? Is it a Win-Win?
Say NO when it’s not balanced. Refusing to engage in a disempowering exchange is an act of empowerment—for both the giver and the receiver.
Ask yourself why you’re giving. Be radically honest: Are you expecting something in return? Are you projecting your unmet needs onto someone else? Do you feel resentful after giving?
By practicing conscious awareness, you honor not just the needs of others—but your own well-being, too.
From Overgiving to Authentic Empowerment
I was only eighteen, a freshman in college, when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. The experience left a permanent mark on me. Today, I believe this is why I’m so passionate about helping others break free from patterns of overgiving, shadow-giving, and imbalance.
Through my work in Energy Alchemy and Frequency Medicine, I’ve witnessed transformation beyond surface healing. By addressing the emotional and energetic root causes of chronic illness, true and lasting change becomes possible—not just emotional relief, but deep restoration of the mind, spirit, and body. My mission is to guide others into authentic empowerment, so they can give from a place of wholeness, not depletion or martyrdom.
Energy Alchemy recognizes that many physical conditions—such as autoimmune disorders, chronic fatigue, or even breast cancer—often arise from unresolved trauma, long-term stress, or unhealthy patterns like overgiving. These energetic imbalances lodge in the body, eventually manifesting as pain, fatigue, or emotional overwhelm. Through intuitive guidance, energetic clearing, and somatic awareness, Energy Alchemy helps release stored patterns and dissolve trapped emotions. Clients often uncover unconscious cycles—such as self-sacrifice or resentment—that are draining their vitality. Once cleared, the body no longer carries that energetic burden, making space for healing, clarity, and resilience.
In the same way, Frequency Medicine, also known as Quantum Biofeedback, complements this process by scanning the body’s bioenergetic field to detect hidden imbalances before they develop into illness. This innovative, non-invasive screening can reveal early signs of stress, inflammation, and even viral or precancerous activity in the body’s tissues that conventional tests may not yet capture. By identifying and addressing subtle energetic disturbances at their root, Quantum Biofeedback supports the body in restoring balance, preventing dis-ease, and creating greater peace of mind.
When we give and receive in balance, we create conditions for genuine healing—for ourselves, our relationships, and for generations to come.
If you are ready to break free from overgiving and restore harmony in your health and your life, book your Energy Alchemy or Frequency Medicine session today and step into empowered, lasting transformation.
In resilient health,
Natasha Sol
Quantum Biofeedback aka Frequency Medicine offers a gentle, holistic option for gaining insights into your breast health—no surgery required. Discover how this innovative screening could provide valuable information and greater peace of mind—Schedule an appointment today!